The New "Experts"

Original image courtesy viewimages.com, format modified for artistic purposes.

I don't need to explain that apart from having a form of brain-damage that affects my neuro-motor functions (as opposed to cognitive brain-functions), the second most annoying thing in my life is corporate-flunkies-half-my-age-who-think-they-know- everything-about-everything errantly telling me what "I" did to screw myself up.

The irritation is in telling me that "I" somehow made a mistake when an automated system of the corporation's own design doesn't behave as advertised. The unfortunate thing is that I more than anybody understand how the Corporate Shell-Game(tm) keeps a company's own clerks in the dark about what the customer actually experiences.

It makes sense, you know. The inherent complexity of having disparate teams of specialized-labor interacting with the customer through even more complex automated systems naturally begs for trouble.

But at some point, actually understanding the logical flaws in the CORPORATION'S INFRASTRUCTURE only foments a kind of madness in ME (primarily because I am merely a high-school graduate who was regularly short-changed on salaries by even LESS QUALIFIED senior managers because I didn't matriculate from an expensive secondary institution [also known as a University]).

Whenever I share this fact with people, they invariably assume that I can't be that bright if I couldn't figure out how to get a university degree. But in actual fact, the 3-time sifting of my PARENT'S ASSETS as a result of marriage, extended-family, divorce, remarriage, repeat made it practically impossible to fit into any financial institution's definition of a safe-bet, actuarially-speaking.

The irony of later having worked for 3 investment banks and a Big-6 consulting-company only makes more bitter the experience of being treated as an idiot by a clerk.

Yet...the customer is always stupid is the motto that helps other underpaid workers rationalize their pain, so I am caught in a perpetual battle between genuine empathy and utter rage when I interact with MOST companies. Still, I have been repeatedly complimented on my friendly, intelligent demeanor by people who actually speak with me (a rare occurrence because of Corporate-implemented flak-management apparatuses that minimize legal problems by keeping problem-resolution staff safely insulated from the customer).

People who've worked with me on a professional-level frequently ask why [if I am so aware of all these circumstances] I don't start my own consulting company. And the answer is because I can barely walk or lift a pencil...two unavoidable prerequisites for being an effective consultant.

But ultimately the reason is because I just don't care anymore. A person who doesn't responsibly disconnect from other people who routinely solve their problems by sweeping them under the rug is in danger of becoming one of the very personalities he/she loathes so much.

I'm certain I've done enough writing to make my benign intent clear...but I think it's time the New Experts with their University degrees show the world why they get paid 5 times as much as people whom they know are more qualified than themselves.

I'm not giving up...I'm just saying that maybe it's time for all the over-paid, over-fed managers of the world to do some work for a change.